Definitive linux ionic install guide

Down vote me to antarctica if you must but I have tried every guide, vm, script to try and get this working but I just can't get it to play ball. What goes wrong? you name it. There are so many dependancies and steps. Has anyone got a definitive guide that works %100 of the time, preferably for ubuntu 14.04.

Error I get

ionic run android
Running command:/home/user/myApp/hooks/after_prepare/010_add_platform_class.js /home/user/myApp
add to body class: platform-android
Running command: /home/user/myApp/platforms/android/cordova/run 
ANDROID_HOME=/home/user/android-sdk-linux
JAVA_HOME=/usr/lib/jvm/java-8-oracle

/home/user/myApp/platforms/android/cordova/node_modules/q/q.js:126
                throw e;
                      ^
Error executing "adb devices": /bin/sh: 1: adb: not found

ERROR running one or more of the platforms: Error: /home/user/myApp/platforms/android/cordova/run: Command failed with exit code 1
You may not have the required environment or OS to run this project  

My path ...

  echo $PATH
  /usr/local/sbin:/usr/local/bin:/usr/sbin:/usr/bin:/sbin:/bin:/usr/games:/usr/local/games:/usr/lib/jvm/java-8-oracle/bin:/usr/lib/jvm/java-8-oracle/db/bin:/usr/lib/jvm/java-8-oracle/jre/bin:/home/user/android-sdk-linux/tools:/home/user/android-sdk-linux/platform-tools:/home/user/android-sdk-linux:/home/user/android-sdk-linux/tools:/home/user/android-sdk-linux/platform-tools:/home/user/android-sdk-linux